Browsing through my recent favorite TV website (whatever you call it really), I looked at hundreds of titles from every thing I have missed out since the last time I picked a fight with my brother because I wanted to watch the Stanely Cup Finals in '99. The fight got so big, I have sworn off watching TV -- this and partly realizing that TV is short for A Complete Waste of Time. Today, I thought it was time to upgrade my many activities to one plus music.
So I clicked on The Wonder Years. Of course I had to take a refresher's on it by googling. I have always dodged the sitcom because I found it odd that a middle-aged man narrated the thoughts of such a small boy. Then, I had been transferred straight back to my childhood. How I did things in school and otherwise. Some were quite similar except that I was way much younger than Kevin and was definitely not the shortest in my class.
I wore pigtails to school every god-forsaken day. I aced most of my classes (that surprisingly included math, only up until second grade and then it went downhill from there). I was the kid who did not touch her Play Doh until she finished her homework. And then one day after school, I stayed in the cafeteria waiting for my brothers to finish class. I took out my notebook -- I believe it was for Science class -- and started doing my homework. I had a hard time finding a clean table. There were morsels of rice and ketchup sticking on the plastic covers.
Then a teacher went up to me and asked me what it was I was doing. I said, "I'm trying to finish my homework so that I won't have to worry about it when I get home and have more time to play." You know what she told me? She told me to stop and wait until I got home because homework meant doing the work AT HOME. That was Lie number one. Felt dubious, but I listened to her, anyway. Now I totally know what its like to wait until I got home to finish work. So much I procrastinate in between idleness.
Lie number two, consisted of basically even more lies. My eldest brother at the time was in his freshman year. He told me one thing about life in high school: high school is pointless. College is where it all starts. While there was some half-truth to it, you can't expect me to digest it to my advantage. I really do as I am told. When I'm told to check if the doors are locked, I do exactly that. If I find the window rolled down, I sometimes have doubts about asking whether I should roll them back up or not. Then again, I have not found myself in the company of a bigger idiot to actually tell me to check the door even having seen that the windows had been rolled down.
Lie number three, never forget to blow your nose when you have colds, or the fairies will drive you up the ceiling and you will never come back down. My mom told me this particular lie. Technically speaking, she did the right thing, because I have always wanted to fly (until this day). But that also meant looking like a moron with things sticking out of my nose with the hopes of experiencing low-effort levitation, permanently.
I'm sure there are more but this is me at Seven A.M., part of my exercise, in preparation for spending the next couple of Days in the Trees. For the sake of variety, what were some of the lies people told you?